No one tells you the truth

That is the truth. No one does; because no one can. The irony in my opening statements is enough to send me to a firing squad, I guess, if you are into that kind of stuff. Its been a little over a year since I left University. That was a big deal, it was one place I was desperate to run out of, school. I really was not the perfect student. I haven’t always loved school; I just showed up because it was the right thing to do at that age. It was something to do. When I was younger, like about nursery school, I sort of liked it. I got to learn these things for myself that my elder sister had been trying to teach me at home, she was 5 when I joined at 3. Nursery school was ok, I couldn’t be disappointed since I had no expectations. The teachers were mini-mummies of sort, and at that age, no one was competing with my mommy for my affection, she was my life!

In comes primary school; with the promise of growing up. I thought I was some kind of special; I skipped a class you see. I was in nursery for only 2 years and from middle class was sent to P.1. It is not something that was discussed with 5 year old me. The new school year came and as was the practice, I went to my old classroom for direction. It is then that I discovered I was to cross the fence over to the other side, where the big kids were. I do not remember how scared I was but I remember crying one day. The teacher had written work on the blackboard and we were supposed to copy it. This work was more than I was used to. We used to have work cards to carry home, here we had to copy it ourselves! I seemed to be the only one finding a problem with it. You were only allowed to leave the class after you had finished. My 7 year old sister was standing at the door impatiently waiting for me. Regardless of how hard I tried, I could not write fast enough,my mind was filled with thoughts of having to walk home alone; the many kidnappers and monsters waiting to eat me! They were silent sobs, tears rolling down my face, a reflection of my helplessness. The teacher laughed at me and allowed me to leave. I was pretty much the last one there.

The next year, I was moved to a new school, a bigger school, with meaner kids and teachers. My sister’s class was way far from mine but atleast my brother was there too, right? My mother dropped me off last, I knew no one. My hand writing was horrible, I was too timid to ask anyone for anything so I often had ridiculously blunt pencils and dirty work. I did not know how to ask for erasers. I soon discovered that weakness was unacceptable here, any kind of weakness. Your work had to be perfect and you had to always be ready with answers. I knew the answers, I always paid close attention in class and I knew most of the answers but something was still wrong. I just could not write well. For that I got a daily knuckle hitting. Our teacher used to leave towards the end of every term to go and study. That was my best time ever. My knuckles celebrated. However, I was rewarded for knowing answers and writing the correct things in exams. I gained recognition, had my name read at assembly and I recieved presents.

I made friends after a while. I am not sure whether it was because I was a nice person or because I knew answers; but my friends were nice to me. They helped me fight through canteen mobs at break,and sharpen my pencils. We did not look forward to much then except holidays. We always prayed and hoped we did not end up in the stream governed by that mean math teacher who just seemed to draw alot of pleasure from inflicting pain on children.

I kept knowing the answers and was in no way anxious for final exams. I was disappointed. In hindsight, I did pretty well but at that moment, it was as if I’d failed. It was my worst performance ever! I got my second option school. Again, I did not suffer, my mother picked the admission and all we had to do was show up.

S.1 was different, every one there was bright and they knew it and they fought to keep their position at the top. I did not always know the answers and I had never had to fight for the top position. It just happened. No one told me it would be like this. They told me I had to work hard, to read hard, to revise? How is that even done? You should discuss with each other; how? I fumbled and somehow fell into the mediocre category. My days as a top student were behind me and I did not any more know who I was. My days of believing I could be the best at anything went with my school performance. I survived; more hits kept coming, hits in the form of failing at literature when I so loved to read, discovering that debate club wasn’t so much about how well you debated but who in authority was your friend, whose sister were you? who was your brother and which school was he? I tried sports but dropped out because it was just another area for me to be not good enough.

Along came A level, with the dream of being able to choose what you want to study. I approached it with renewed hope. Surely, I could do this, it wasn’t so bad..or so I thought, but it was. It wasn’t so good either. This one had an even greater pressure level, my future was at stake here. My future in the form of not being able to afford University, or my career which would determine whether I would be poor for the rest of my life or not. I tried at this, gave it alot of myself. At some point, I sort of gave up and just held onto God’s big merciful cloak for dear life, I just did not see how it would work out. By the time I finished that part, I was the only one who still believed I could make it; probably because I was the only one there in those moments of helplessly laying all at God’s feet and crying my heart and soul out. I was exhausted. That part ended. I made it somehow, got government sponsorship for a course I did not remember applying for. I soldiered on. Again, if I did not go to school, what would I do? It is not what I wanted, for the first time ever, I kind of was working for something beyond exams. I got the government sponsorship, but not the course. How dare I complain? Some people had it worse. “It is just your first degree.” “You can always do something else later on” Really? Then how come eye brows are still raised when I mention what I studied and what I chose to do after which is not in any way related?

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If I had my way, this is the stuff blind dates would be made of

Last week was bitter sweet for me. A lot of great things happened but also one little thing happened, not a bad thing, just hurt a little bit, then hurt a lot, then hurt in ways I tried to deny were possible. My best friend of about 2 months but I’ve known for 6 is now 10 hours away from me. Yes, we are in different time zones. Let us just say, I am going through my 6 degrees of separation. He left me with alot of memories and presents and love, I really can not complain. Un fortunately, these beautiful gifts are the very things that make missing the person even crazier. It is not a lie, it is possible for even the slightest of things to remind you of a person you miss.

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it was amidst this crazy emotional torture that a great thing happened to me. It was one of those days when I was not sure how I was feeling. A friend took me to lunch. Friday lunches are awesome, no pressure, no one is in a hurry, bosses leave early, we are all jolly? Ok, enough with the rhyming. So, back to my friend lunch. It was totally unplanned. There I was wondering what I would have for lunch, I really wasn’t hungry for anything and I receive that amazing  “I’m in the neighborhood phone call”.

This one is anew friend, we have lots of mutual friends so we kind of just eased into the friendship and well, social media has also played its part. There was none of that weirdness given that this was only the second time I was meeting him. I really wonder where he has been all my life. I do not remember the last time I enjoyed myself that much talking to a person.

We talked about the usual, music, weather,Jesus,annoying stuff but my best part are the non-usual, you know, alternate universes, who’s in charge, you or your brain, dreaming of seeming impossibilities and celebrating movies that are just different. I haven’t watched most of his movies and he hasn’t watched many of mine and that was really cool.

At the back of my mind, I was thinking, life might not be so bad after all with my B.F.F on the other side of the world and then I slapped myself. They are incomparable. They are really close friends and hence I saw aspects of one in the other but they are also so wonderfully different. At some point, I wondered if B.F.F had prayed and sent this one to brighten my week.

If friends can enjoy each other’s company like this, why should blind dates be awful? We have mutual friends in as much as they did not suggest we meet, it just happened; which means if it is intentional, it should be much much awesomer! Yes, I’ve made it a word.

It ought to be like this, really fun, no pressure, honest, no airs and should atleast for those few hours take your mind off the one thing or many things that have your heart and mind all twisted up. Why or where do  friends get it so wrong when setting people up? To my friend, you do not know this but you absolutely brightened up my week.

Man of Steel, my honest opinion

On Friday last week, my awesome friends and I went to the movies after work, (went to the movies? as if American). The excitement was sky high because we had waited for Man of Steel 3D for months, we bought our tickets at noon for a 7 O’clock movie, our Facebook posts and whats app conversation revolved around it. Get it yet?

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We were excited! So, it is Monday and I have decided to give my review of the best movie I have watched this year seeing as I only started watching movies in cinemas this year, embarrassing, I know, but that’s not the point.

It is a great movie, I really love what they did with the story, constantly shifting from his present life to his childhood, obviously they knew we had watched Smallville, we did not need a recap. We wanted what happens after Smallville. The makers did not waste anytime with the action, because our first encounter of an adult SuperMan, is a hot scene!

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I mean this literally,he was saving people from a fire. I will admit, I haven’t always been a big superman fan, his costume was somewhat ridiculous for me, maybe it was the men in the costume but this one again I say, was done justice, in the scenes he was wearing it

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There is actually a lot to say about this movie, the villain,General Zod and his number one captain were awesome, they did not pull an Iron Man 3 on us and make a joke of a really important element of a comic story,the Villain; every super hero needs a good villain. A worthy opponent. However my best part about this movie was every scene that had this man in it, whether he was fighting, getting beaten, saving his mother, being shirtless, as long as I got to gaze at him, the world was a much better place to live in.

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I’ve heard rumours that he starred in some movies prior to this one,  but maybe he did not look this awesome because I do not remember a single thing he said but that man was on fire.

Gloria’s rating 9.8/10

Why you shouldn’t watch/listen to the weather forecast.

Let me start by saying, I don’t believe in any kind of forecasting because who can really tell what the future will bring. The best any of us can do is project or even guess, cross our fingers and hope we are right. Below are a few observations as to why you shouldn’t trust what you hear on weather forecasts in Uganda.

1.      We do not have definite seasons with known mannerisms like winter, summer or autumn. We know only three things; it is either raining, threatening to rain or has just stopped raining. Somewhere in between the sun will burn you like you share a lover. It can rain and shine within the same minute. Don’t trust what people tell you, always have an umbrella, jacket and a pair of sun glasses on you.

2.      It is all hearsay. No one actually goes through the trouble to get that daily information from the meteorological centre (how many people even know that word?!). It is all guess work!!!!!! Enough said

3.      Who has that patience anyway? By the time you make it through the headlines, the stories about dosing/quarrelling/arrested MP’s, strikes(either in a university or factory or street), strange stories from a village whose name is new to you, sports news, business news…and you are still watching news?!

4.      It takes away your excuses. If you knew exactly what the weather is going to be; on the off chance that the guess was accurate, what reason would you have for wearing knee high boots on the hottest day of the month or donning that cute sleeveless,backless top when it’s raining cat and dogs? You see my point?

5.      Life is lived better when you don’t know the future. Too much planning is not good, we ought to live a little to chance.

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Hire Me already

I work for an HR consultancy firm and contrary to what most people think, we are not the ones who give out jobs! We are middle men, brokers if I may say. We are just getting paid to do someone else’s work, let us say we thrive off HR departments being understaffed and hence the need for outsourcing.

The nature of my job description hence dictates that I spend alot of time looking through people’s resumes and I am slowly but surely becoming an expert in writing a good resume/CV. I have tailored mine to many jobs and perfected it to make sure I do not undersell myself like many of us are in the habit of doing. You may be able to impress, once hired, you might even be able to blow the interview panel away, “if given a chance” like most of you write but with a bad CV, we will never get to know that for sure. Your CV is your introduction, it is what total strangers use to decide whether you are worth their time. Harsh but true.

A good CV is not hard to create if you understand what is considered important in a resume. According to me, these are the things that are key to a good resume

1. Where you’ve worked

2. How long you worked there

3. What you did/have  done; and this does not refer to your job title, but what were you actually involved in and how did it contribute to the bottom line?

It really is that simple, the rest are just details. It goes without saying that you should include your personal and contact information; and in this day an age, everyone really ought to have an email address.

Another really simple thing that many take for granted is presentation. Yes, it matters what font you use. While Ms Script might look appealing for poetry, it does not work in your favour when trying to present your most serious self. Always do a spell check, mind your spacing and a well aligned document speaks volumes about the person who prepared it. All it boils down to is, take some time and put some real effort into this document and maybe you’ll get that call back that you never seem to. I say maybe because there are many factors at play but remember, always lead with your best foot forward.

That said, I need to go apply to a certain media house if you will excuse me.

Replacements For The Phrase "I Love You"

Thought Catalog

As we all know, few things have grown more worn down and shoddy with overuse than the words “I love you.” When strung together, you could elicit everything from what a couple says before they slip a ring onto each other’s finger, all the way to a sorority girl’s proclamation to the roommate she’s “married” to on Facebook. The term has lost some meaning. So, though they may be a bit cumbersome, I propose a few new terms that more succinctly get to the heart of the matter. This, my friends, is true love.

“I would pick you up at the airport at 7 AM, not even the airport that’s closest to me — the one you have to take 1-95 to get to. I’d go there even if there wasn’t a McDonald’s on the way to get some hash browns and McMuffins. I would settle for gas station breakfast…

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Kisses on the neck

I want to kiss you on the neck, my Love;

more intimately than when I kiss you on the cheek

but without the usual-ness of a kiss on the lips.

I want to know you more; this kiss seems to suggest,

to whisper to you secrets about me. Intimacy

I want to breathe you in and hold it.

I’m making memories.

I’m etching your scent into the core of my very being. Spirit

My arms around your neck, yours around my waist…
I am my Beloved’s and He is mine. Ownership

 

I am intoxicated with Love,

not a single thought of my own do I still hold, we are one.

You are mindful of me and my mind is full of you.

My mind is you. Surrender

Your eyes my horizon, my mirror,

I behold to see who I am.

You are my definition!

My every move is chartered by your Word;

promises to whom impossibility is impossible;

repentance is unknown. Vows

You smile and beauty engulfs me.

I want to kiss you on the neck, my love.