I was listening to Jealous by Labrinth…

“How is your boyfriend?” Her pastor asked as he motioned for her to take a seat across from him.

“We broke up” she said with a small smile, the kind of smile she wore when she felt awkward. or when she thought she might be making someone feel awkward.

“Oh dear,” he said after a thoughtful pause, “What happened?”

“He moved to another country and decided he didn’t want to come back”

She felt tense. This is not why she had come to see him. In fact she had been avoiding him. Maybe he sensed it. He had run into her in the corridor and insisted she come to his office for some tea.

“So, what flavour tea do you have?” She asked rubbing her sweaty palms on her jeans .

“All of them” he said, with a smug smile.

“I can tell by the look on your face that you are lacking in faith” he added before bursting into laughter. She laughed too. It felt so good to laugh. It felt so good to laugh and mean it. She probably laughed a lot harder than was required. It was just a bad pastor joke after all. Laughter that brought tears. Laughter that gave her an excuse to cry, and cry she did.

At first she tried to fight it but the veins in her neck felt like they were about to pop. So she let herself cry. She just wasn’t ready for the force with which the tears came as she struggled to breath in between sobs. She cried the tears she should have cried when she saw that text message that read “I don’t know, I’m thinking of staying” . She cried the tears that she had kept at bay when it sank in the next morning that he hadn’t suggested that she join him or mention visits. She cried because she knew he was well aware of how she felt about long – distance relationships. She cried because she had a secret board on Pinterest titled weddings. She cried because she finally could.

She was grateful that the pastor’s office was carpeted and almost laughed when she thought of what it would look like after, soaked.

“I’m sorry,” she said when the tears gave her some breathing space.

“Nothing to apologise for,” he said as he handled her some tissue.

“Raspberry and Arabian mint,” he added

“I beg your pardon?”

“The Tea flavours that I have, raspberry and mint”

 

 

 

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10 thoughts on “I was listening to Jealous by Labrinth…

  1. This song sadly (well, it’s a sadly song really) first came to me as a cover on X factor when I lost my friend last year. Sadly still the young man who did the cover also chose it because it especially reminded him of a friend he’d lost… then months later, other sad things happened in my life. It was generally a bad year and this song was the theme of my real life sad movie. I have a love-hate thing for it.

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    1. I found that cover on YouTube also. His interpretation was what I’d like to call bittersweet. Happy that they’re happy. Sad that you are without them. I know about tough years. One step at a time we find our way to healing. I pray for you healing. I pray for you restoration. I pray for you peace. 🙂

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