Irreconcilable Differences

…leaves a lot to the imagination.

I first heard this statement used in divorce proceedings. Not that I have been divorced, let’s just say people on TV get divorced a lot. Don’t you wonder what these differences could be that make people decide that kama mbaya mbaya this thing will not survive. I mean, from couples that have been together for just two years to those who have been together fifteen. These differences do not seem to discriminate.

I have a theory. Let’s use work as an example. Say you work for an organisation that you absolutely love. Every day as you say your prayers you can’t stop thanking God for such an amazing opportunity, your mother is happy that you are happy, in short life is rosy.

Then something changes, you go through some hard times with this job. You’re overworked and under/un appreciated. Things get personal but in a negative way with your colleagues. You can’t stand them. You get tired of the impunity in the organisation, the Gotham like injustice!!! To top it off, the money stops coming on time. At first , it is late by a few weeks. Just when you thought that was bad, it is a new month and still nothing. Before you know it, you are not even sure what month you are owed.


You start getting ulcers. You have bags under your eyes. You stop meeting up with your friends, partly because you are tired, emotionally and physically but also because you are broke.You can’t remember a time you were not broke. You dread wedding meetings more than the average person and you are about to start hating life in general.

Lo and behold! After weeks of “Maybe next week” from the accounts department, the day finally arrives. Jesus returns. But you’ve been hurt, your hair is breaking, your face is pale and smiling seems like such a waste of time. You get that money and pay off the numerous debts you incurred to survive those months. You have some left. You become a comfort eater. You have a momentary panic attack at the thought of being fat and broke. You brush it off. You can’t be fat for long if you are broke.

One day, after numerous days,weeks,months of deliberation, prayer and consultation from your mom (read seeking her approval), you hand in your resignation to your boss citing irreconcilable differences. They try to talk you out of it. You’re one of their best workers. They promise this is just a phase. They wish you all the best. You will surely be missed.

Don’t you think that is what happens to marriages? Break each other to the point that you are not willing to try anymore?




12 thoughts on “Irreconcilable Differences

  1. well.I have been in those shoes , maybe not enough to understand the extent to which it drives you to lose hair , but enough to know that it’s hard to give your all , when you are at the wall.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. it’s always one thing or another, you can never know… maybe people get tired of working it out… maybe the working stops working all together. maybe they find anew other


  3. There are times when you have given and your well has dried out and you just can’t take it anymore. I think that’s the irreconcilable part about it. Sometime back a friend of mine asked me something that still challenges me, “why are we afraid of love?”. We crave it but when we get it, we destroy it. Could it be that we have been sold to the wrong love? Is the love we search for unattainable and even the one we get dis satisfactory?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A very excellent view, SwanSwan!
    My submission is that there are agreements that any two entities coming together agree to, whether they know it or not. The inability to fulfill one’s end of the bargain will slowly but surely drive a wedge in the beautiful partnership until the under/un- appreciated party clicks “log out”.
    I had often thought the term a myth until I recently met my own version of it. But, that’s a story for another time 😉
    Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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