“…those three words, are said too much, they are not enough…” Chasing cars-Snow Patrol
I love this song. I love many songs, each for a different reason, some because they bring back memories and others simply because they sound beautiful. This particular one is because I agree with the lines in the song. I bet the words they were talking about here even though it wasn’t explicitly pointed out was “I love you”. I agree with the fact that they are said way too much and yet are they ever enough. Are they even necessary?
A good friend of mine once wrote on her bucket list, “Love the man I will marry” and even though I did not express it then, I though that was a defeatist view of life. A kind of settling. I am glad to announce that three years later, she is happily married and no she did not settle. She chose and she chose well. However, I have been thinking about this whole love thing. Does it have anything to do with words? More so, the words “I love you”
Do not get me wrong (ready yourself for a disclaimer) , I am not claiming to be an expert on the subject of love that has baffled many. However, for some time now, I have been on a journey of trying to discover what it might mean to love some one. There is one love. So, I will not even go on about differentiating love depending on the one receiving it. Love is alive and is continuous.
Over the years that I have lived, I have learnt that to love is to esteem another over your self. It is a continuous death. You do not love once and finish, but everyday; every moment with another is a new opportunity to love. Love is a verb (cliche , I know). It is something you do. It is expressed when you choose to meet another half way. It is displayed when you decide to break a few of your own walls and come out of hiding even if it is not your favourite thing in the world. It is being intentional about knowing another, studying them not simply because they fascinate you but because they are, they deserve your attention. It is in listening and not simply hearing, it is listening to gestures and unsaid words. It is choosing to fight for each other when everything in you would rather fight the other person. It is choosing to be a safe place for another, covering them and not exposing them, even when imperfect and undeserving. Above all, it is pointing the other to whom they need the most, God.
We could write poems for each other, trust me, some of the best poetry ever written is love poetry,we could make music, shoot movies and propose with 99 iphones and the whole world would swoon over how romantic the gesture is or how much love has been shown. But at the end of the day, that is not the most important thing. Saying, I love you is not the most important of things. Living out those words on the other hand, at least according to me, is the more excellent way.