That Corner

That Corner, my corner

I miss you…
I miss you!
I know you are probably
just going through the process, your process.
This is how you deal with all the stress;
Everyone wanting a piece of you
and you wanting the best of yourself.

So you have withdrawn to your place,
your shell, your cocoon,
your growing place, your recovering place.
I know I should be glad,
if I’m to say I care for you,
I should be glad
because this makes you much better.

After all this, I’d wished…
I was hoping we could get some time,
just you and I
to just be;
to be what we have been stopping ourselves from being,
to be what we did not want others to watch us being,
us, to be us.

We have answers to discover from each other,
sentences yet to complete together,
memories whose creation is far from complete.
There are words just at the tip of my tongue
that I am itching to say,
“mine, yours, his, ours…”

I want to be held,
by you,
as my fingers discover you;
smooth parts, tender parts,
firm places, your places, finding our places.

But you, my mysterious one, wear a façade;
your face a prism,
every sunrise sees the birth of yet another hue.
You holding out your hand,
whisper me out of my cocoon
but when I get to this place that gives me chills,
this place, memories of which hurt my heart,
I cannot see you,
yet it’s you who called me out here.

Now I am cold and alone and scared.
Is it me? Did you get tired of the wait?
Did you move on just as I moved on,
from my past unto you
who seemed like my future?

So I withdraw,
with my head hung low,
I retreat back to that corner, my corner
and push up against the wall so hard
seeking a place where your light can not rest.
I will not hear you anymore when you call me out,
you will not see me because you never stay…
You just keep walking away from me.

_letting_go_by

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